How to Win Friends and Influence People.

LESSON 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

The title of this chapter is: “He Who Can Do This Has The Whole World With Him. He Who Cannot Walks A Lonely Way”

I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Personally, I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to have that?”

  • Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?
  • Why do you treat people any differently?


Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. DALE CARNEGIE

  • Salespeople don’t sell products. They show how products solve problems, and people want to buy them. Customers like to feel they are buying – and not being sold.
  • So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.


“The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.” DALE CARNEGIE


    • Before you speak, pause and ask, “what can the other person get out of this?”
    • Even challenge yourself to not say anything about what you want.

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