How to Win Friends and Influence People.

LESSON 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

The title of this chapter is: “He Who Can Do This Has The Whole World With Him. He Who Cannot Walks A Lonely Way”

I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Personally, I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to have that?”

• Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?
• Why do you treat people any differently?

Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. DALE CARNEGIE

• Salespeople don’t sell products. They show how products solve problems, and people want to buy them. Customers like to feel they are buying – and not being sold.

• So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

“The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition.” DALE CARNEGIE

PRACTICE THIS:

• • Before you speak, pause and ask, “what can the other person get out of this?”
  • Even challenge yourself to not say anything about what you want.

How to Win Friends and Influence People.

LESSON 2: SMILE

Summary Quotes:

A woman who had inherited money, was eager to make a pleasing impression on everyone. She had squandered a modest fortune on sables, diamonds and pearls. But she hadn’t done anything whatever about her face. It radiated sourness and selfishness. She didn’t realize what everyone knows: namely, that the expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back.

Charles Schwab told me his smile had been worth a million dollars. And he was probably understating the truth.

Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you, You make me happy. I am glad to see you.” That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.

A baby’s smile has the same effect.

“People who smile tend to manage teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children.” McConnell, psychologist

The effect of a smile is powerful – even when it is unseen. Telephone companies throughout the United States have a program called “phone power” which is offered to employees who use the telephone for selling their services or products. In this program they suggest that you smile when talking on the phone. Your “smile” comes through in your voice. You don’t feel like smiling? Then what? Two things. First, force yourself to smile. If you are alone, force yourself to whistle or hum a tune or sing. Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to make you happy.

Here is the way the psychologist and philosopher William James put it: “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.

Abe Lincoln once remarked that “most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” He was right.

The ancient Chinese were a wise lot – wise in the ways of the world; and they had a proverb that you and I ought to cut out and paste inside our hats. It goes like this: “A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”

It costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever, None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits. It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends. It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and Nature’s best antidote fee trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away. And if in the last-minute rush of Christmas buying some of our salespeople should be too tired to give you a smile, may we ask you to leave one of yours? For nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give!

SMILE!

How to Win Friends and Influence People.

LESSON 1: Show a genuine interest in the other person.